Haaa Choo

Wow ... now actually start raining
the cold wind blow through the opened window
chilling.
my favourite weather =D

actually not much want to say
just update a little
I dont want the gap between new post are large
I was actually sit here for like an hour
to think want the hell actually i should write
but seems like my brain malfunction today


Basically I am in holiday now,
i have only 1 class next week,
then the following week is study break
passed up the full documentation project
now left 2 more easy projects
pass it up and wait for the presentation
then just wait for the final
somehow this semester gave me feeling that
it end so meaningless
not that its sucks but
just don't know how to explain

and so called "end of the world"
is coming, i really curious to see what is really gonna happen
dont tell me you're not...
so now just wait and see
or probably you should pray too  xD

Yet

You looks so close
almost i could reach just by
extending my arm
Your voices too,
so close, so near
almost like whispering beside my ear
you were that close
Yet, unreachable



That string, that thread
is the link between you and him
looks so tiny
so thin
so fragile
almost it will shattered within a touch
Yet, unbreakable



The truth that had sunk
The lies from the victor
covered it up,
Loser been buried
but that truth,
that I am lost,
Yet
undeniable



Lives,
Looks strong
Looks tough
But it was just frail
When facing the touch of death
Looks lasting,
but just like woods and fire
all whats left, will be ashes
Looks sturdy
Looks robust
yet,
fragile

Blood, Blood everywhere

what do you think it is ?

yeah, it is what you think

Blood donation, everyone knows that 

why the hell I even ask

anyway

UMMC has organized a blood donation at my college

And NKF(national kidney foundation) is come together for the life body check

for student or everyone in the college

and its free, just either if you want to donate, and i did the body check

and my body is on perfectly good, blood pressure, sugar, cholestrol 

well that's make me happy

but just one thing, my height

it never grow already 

after the nurse measured my height and she say it out

and first thing come from my mouth is

Am i really that short?

and she help me measured again

she was like " see, its accurate "

almost like saying yeah you are short and now get lost

well... And i gained weight, for 1.5 kg lol

i should celebrate it, its hard for me to gain weight

i eat a lot, but i am still thin

and i have no idea why

by the way, thats my arm,

for who dunno xD

it is my second time i donate my blood

I am type A,

Some people think blood type tells about personality. Legend has it that Type A is calm and trustworthy; Type B is creative and excitable; Type AB is thoughtful and emotional; and Type O is a confident leader.

yeah i admit i copy that from internet
so what type are you ?

when i starting donating blood the nurse told me that my vein is so small
well, of course it is , my arm is small, of cz it is small
if the vein is that big, it will be fucking weird...
actually it kinda scary watching my blood flow out into a bag
what if it never stop flowing haha
my head always have this kind of weird thoughts
and last thing
please
go and donate your blood if you can
it helps people in need
any type of blood you have,
but please dont if you have any disease 
=)

Not bad huh

Well lately I having bad insomnia 

Every hate it I suppose?

Of course so do I

but it just happen so what the hell i can do about it?

See, shit just happen man

Every time, without warning

Just like your stomach, when the crap wanna come out

they won't send you a text message like

"yo dawg, i going come out at 9 oclock in the morning yo,

you better sit at the toilet and wait for me, if not 

i will beat the shit out of your anus"

no, they wont

they will just beat the shit out of they way

sometimes we just need to "enjoy" that bad things happen to us

but I am not telling to enjoy that stomachache... 

but some other things

just like me

i have a real bad insomnia yesterday night

i was lying on my bed until 2 god damn am

then i was like" fuck this man, i going to get up and get some food and 

do my stuff"

So i get up,

open my laptop and watch a movie eating some chips

but then i decide to take some walk

out of the dark, and of course it have street light

by the way i really like cold night,

dark sky

and it was beautiful, and i never thought of that

but now think of, its lucky i din't get rob xD

I actually enjoying that

even i am tired

but my retarded brain just refused to sleep

i think it was like " well why want to sleep now boy

you have plenty of time sleeping when you are dead"

See sometimes things aren't so bad

just the point of view

like you spilled your milk while you drinking it half

you will feel like god why this happen, that is another half i can drink

but why dont you give yourself a better view

just like " so now i can have another can of milk, FULL"

Okay, enough of my point of fking views

it getting annoying isn't it ? 

oh well here 

just something i want to share

wednesday, mean yesterday 

me and my friends suddenly decide to swim

yes, suddenly... we always decide thing at "suddenly

and we swim

at sungai gabai

it is a waterfall

this is the second time i went there

and i forgot which friend of mine having those picture

for my 1st time been there

oh well forget that

and here is some pictures

The water is cold, of course it is a waterfall

and i look so fucking ugly in this picture

Busy Week

These day are busy,

Its the assignment pass up week

and of course i am not doing it last minute

just need to last checking for documentation 

and the annoying program

we are doing clinic management system

well actually everything turn out quite good

the program is function nicely

but just need a few tweak to be better

even busy still need to rest ourselves

and i did, and here... a photo of me planking 

during lunch break at my college's computer lab

my friend's face was priceless

was like" wtf he is doing man"

and err, this message is for someone

if you are still reading my blog

mind to give me a reason u suddenly dont reply my msg anymore?

well if you feel disturbed you can just say it and i will never

find you anymore

i just hate being abandon like that...

泣

独自被遗留在荒野
正害怕被孤独吞噬
凝视着那无助的双手
双膝正跪着冰冷的地
他...在惊泣


突然告知失去亲人
泪水还不及反应
赶回到他那熟悉的家
看见他人在哭泣
那迟钝的泪水也被悲伤带出
他...在悲泣


得知了那不想被认同的事实
被那事实吹残
想要抹脱，却已烙在心里
想要解决，却找不到方法
想要离开，却依依不舍
独自一人哭得乞凌
她...在痛泣


无理由的走在街里
看着那人来人往
遇到太多挫折
却没人分担
她忍受得太久
眼眶满泪
突然蹲下
大哭
她...在豪泣


爱莫能助
想伸出双手帮她抹掉眼泪
却遥远不及
想要安慰，但口只来了词穷
他没掉泪 ，
他的心却... 在静泣


向着那还有五百米的家迅速奔跑
双手按着那疼痛的肚子
竖紧那屁股的肌肉
心里一直祈祷 要比它出来前到家
但却在途中被打败
他跪着 头往上看
大喝  天啊... 我的新裤
双眼也流出泪水
他...在.... errr? errmmm ..? huh ?

We are always crazy

Yesterday 3 am in the morning

with my crazy friends 

suddenly thinking want to go Port Dickson

and watches the sun rise

then we are just like"owh okay why not"

so we set off to port dickson

took us like 1nhalf hours to reach there from kl

so 5 am in the morning, and no shop is open for us

we all were so hungry but couldn't do nth 

so we decided just go to the beach instead

dark sky, and the water just seem so deep

and can see lighting from afar 

nice view

but then sudden some one decide to throw sand at me

then the sand war is started

some of the sand got into my nose and my mouth

and inside my shirt, scratching my skin

but still, good memory

then the sky start brighten up

too bad the beach is facing to the west

dint have the chance to see sun rises from the sea

what do you see? thats my name =D

You don't need to ask, i wasn't in this picture

because I am the forever alone photographer lol

( there are still another 3 more friends with us)

Then after 2 hours wondering there

we finally decide to leave

but... we make a wrong turn few times

we are almost go to melaka instead of backing to KL

and we are all hungry as hell, and when we finally found 

one restaurant I was like FINALLY

I thought I am going to starve to death

took us 3 hours to go back and reach our home

then everyone just sleep like a pig

but i just slp like 4 hours... and woke up

until now typing this ...

and just now went to dinner with family

just a normal dinner

but i just decided to take some photos using my brother's phone

cz mine doesn't have front camera

thats my 3rd elder brother

and add another, my second eldest brother

and then another more, my lovely mum...

ignore my stupid face... i was tired

What would you do?

These days the sky never stop pouring

down his tear,

its already been a week, or maybe more

raining few times a day

but rainy day always been my favourite weather

darken sky, cold temperature, and quiet street

maybe you will say, why the hell your world is so grey 

come on, I like sunshine too... I am just more prefer rainy day

but rainy day made me sick

heavy flu, and keep sneezing non-stop

when start sneezing I thought someone is missing me

then I realize I am actually, no one will miss me until I sneeze non-stop

luckily it recover from a deep sleep

and that is something I want to mention

few days ago while I am in the sub way waiting for my train

I saw an ad poster about Jackie Chan new movie called cz12

i'm not trying to promote this movie or what 

but I am just found it funny because of the date it release 

its release on 20 December 2012...

you get me now?

years ago people was so freak out about 21th of December 2012

will be the end of the day

but now it's just one and half month away from now

and nobody give a crap...

Jackie Chan is almost like challenging the world will not end

Of course I don't believe the world will end either

even it does... that is another 7 billion people in the world to die with me

and then in the hell or heaven will be a big family reunion

so I worry nothing

If it doesn't end, live on

and continue your miserable life

simple that's it

I bet many people will like"I don't want to die yet, that is a lot things i haven't do"

bitch... that is another 7 billion people like you

beside what hell we can do if my planet just going to explode...come on

And tell me... what will gonna do a day before if the world really going to end

too bad for me I don't have a girlfriend if I do, i will bring her sit on the high ground and watch the world burn then die

so i guess that day i probably just sitting in front of  my  computer and whisper to it

"Goodbye darling... Thanks for so many years of accompany"

And feel free leave a comment tell me what you going to do

any bad or romantic things

Slips

Happiness of mine
just like the water
that ladle with my hand
it slips away,
between the gap of my fingers
a drop by a drop
a little by little
and when I started to realize
it is slipping away
then I look off
but my hand is already long dry
before I can take a sip
before I can taste the happiness

Things happen... just too sudden

Its 12 am in the morning,
I am already tired,
but I am just refuse to sleep
1/11/11 this date was my father's death date
so make its exactly 1 year and 2 days after
he passed away
Just one year, I am starting to afraid
my memories of him is starting to fade away
its blur..
and I don't want to, I never want to

I still remember few days after he passed away
me and my family was check his leftover things
and I found out that,
I don't even took picture with him personally
now I have nothing left to look at and yearn
Just having that whole family picture when my eldest brother marry
the biggest regret in my life,
but what can I do now

And now think of, my country national day
August 31th, its just national day for others
but for my family
it's my father birthday, and my parent anniversary
I was never have a chance to pay him a nice dinner
I was still young, even I wanted to
he will just say "better keep it to yourself
beside, its my money"
but I just remember I bought him a shirt once
my own money from work
and I can see the way he cherish it,
just a normal shirt, but he will wear it only when going out dinner with us

damn myself...

The night before he went to sky kingdom
I was back late, but he was still awake
the we sit and talk for awhile
we were still talking
still laughing
just next day I was in college then receive call from my brother
and told me to calm down then tell what happen
I really really really hope he was joking
but who will make this kind of joke
who will...
and I never got the chance to say goodbye
it was so sudden
I know, my sadness can't compare to my third elder brother
he working with him that day,
and watch him die...

just after he done his job
he suddenly feel unwell
then he sat,
he struggle awhile... then he is gone
how fragile...
but still, I was relieve, because he never suffer much before he move to somewhere better
I cried like I never had before on his funeral
and cry, and cry and again
that month
every time... every time I saw something remind me of him
I feel like crying, one time I was just almost burst out while I am on a train
I'm being seldom go out with friends after that happen
even friend ask me, its just not like you man
but what could I tell em?
they will never understand
I am afraid, I am scared, that will happen again

And I never said I love him
I should have...