Birthday

Yeah, as the title say
it is my birthday..
28th December
and I born in 1993
well, I actually dont expect many
from this year...
2 month before I thought
how about find a girl friend before
my birthday
yeah...sound like so easy, ha silly me..


well... now think about my previous birthday
always went not well
so just let me tell u my story
last year, 2011 november 1st
my dad went to heaven, or decided to travel far
he left me, it was sad, yes it was... or i should
it still sad... some time i will think, what if he is still here
so we can do that do this...
at November 2011 19th ... i got a gf,
i dont know if she is pity me about my lost
or what... actually it is a bad time for couple
for me at least...
and of course my birthday was together with her
but soon after at 2012 apirl we broke up...
fault was on me i know... i never got the time for her
then a week after i broke up, my best friend tgt with her
no wonder why he will ask about me what did she like
where did she wan to go... so use me to get to her
i never thought he will betray me though
but still, she is better with him than me...

2010 27th December
I went out with a girl...
a girl i like of course...
and i confessed to her...
reply was terrible..
i got rejected
and the reason is i am not rich enough
yeah i know that, i dont need you to remind me twice
but still, it hurt...
or probably you got the wrong meaning
of course she didnt say" You Are Not Rich Enough, So Fuck Off"
but the meaning is exaclty that
and then next day..
nothing much happen ,
cut a cake i think, i dont recall many ...
so thats it ... my miserable birthday..


oh and recently i fall it love in 1 song
so suitable for me...
and here you go ..
when i was your man - bruno mars

so next time.. =)

FOREVER ALONE

Christmas in another 1 hour
lol and
christmas eve?
like i care -.-
i actually care a little
well but
forever alone guy at home
count down for christmas
who else like me
raise your hand ...
wooohooo ...
my friend just went to somewhere else
they did call me
but all my brothers leave home
and leave mum alone
so i decide to stay...
you know... just dont let her feel so lonely
well... i could still go later right. aha ..
if doesnt, i can rest early =)
optimist it is ... XD

my PRECIOUS...s..s... eggs?

how you doing guys?

not much? since the world end?

nah...

today, i just went to bicycle ride again

and this time is different place...

taman pertanian

i think i mentioned this before on previous post

yeah.. this place is much better and large than 

taman botani..

last time i went there we was reach in the morning

but this  time is afternoon, 

still so many fking people and car..

i thought this time will be less people

but anyway, for last time, i almost fall into 

some cliff, i was just 1 step before the death scythe 

if u ask why cliff, i duno how to describe in

but definitely i will hurt pretty bad if i fall down there

or probably dead...

since there is a jungle and a lot of hills

and this time...

i almost broke my balls...

yes... my balls

if i wasnt jump fast enuf...

i actually record it ..

'cause it's going down hill... 

so i wanted to record it like lets make it a digital memory

but when almost reaching at he bottom my break went off 

or i should say it actually went off all the time -_-

and i couldn't  fully stop before i hit on the ditch

so i have to jump of

if i dint... my body will be throw forward and since my bike

hit on the ditch and it will stop.. and my body is throwing foward

so my body will go full force ram at the bike

and break my precious egg..s...

i dint really got hurt though but just some scratch on my toe

so here... the promising video lol

there were 7 of us... but four of us is in same car

i dint manage the catch thm tgt.. 

that its..

so ...next time 

O RLY?

So... i survived a apocalypse ?

everyone was talking about it

but the date is reach

nothing happen

and now on the internet the end of the world

has postpone to 2015

wurt? *derp face*

oh realy?

come on ... its getting annoying

quit this shit...

you know what is end of the world?

that is when you spend all your money,

tell your wife you had another lover,

and you wan try to be gay,

and tell everyone your secret... at yesterday

and then, today is not the end of the world

that is what you call world end

so... this day probably gonna come though

but not now, for sure

oh

and Christmas is near... which mean my birthday is near

actually i just realize my birthday is near =.=

somehow not really care... no idea why

so here, happy .. oh wait...

lets wait until Christmas first..

so .. next time 

What's that smell

First, enjoy the awesome picture of mine

nah, i know its not awesome and i look ugly

i not really suit in formal i guess...

and the tie i borrow from my friend

I should have put this picture last post, but

seems like i forget

so... just gonna replace it here

well,

i have an exam tomorrow 

but looks like i dont really give a shit

i just narrow down what i should study 

but, the thing is... all those thing i study

just barely touches my brain, or hovering

going thru my eye and quickly became farts

and out thru my anus...

real quick...

that explain why i farting so much...

nah i am kidding...

but seriously... this shit seems just cant stay in my head

lets hope i can do well tmr =T

Kinda Screw Up

Lets just go back how i went

on my presentation day

hmm i actually got a real good feed back about

my presentation skill

but one thing is, the project i did 

went terribly wrong -.-

A friend of mine told me 

i should only do one diagram, then i was like owh

okay... then i just did one,

in the end, it need more than 5 ...

Fuck...

anyway, my presentation there should cover 

up my score

And i actually record my presentation

cz i want watch how bad i was 

lol

so i can find where to improve it 

and when i watching it back

wait i know its fucking weird watching

own video, but hey thats how we learn

so, i actually feels like 

hey, not that bad... i actually doing quite good

not bad as i imagine

thats it a short update

next time

Adult?

I got a presentation tomorrow

2 hour ago

i actually still gaming xD

no intense baby

no i am just kidding

and i just figure out and make some draft just now 

about what i should talk for tmr

I need to wake up at 6 tmr

actually not tmr -.- now already 12.45 

or i should say later

can i wake up ? lol that is a question

and i have to wear formal

i hate that so much

I am 19 and i dont looks like one

because of my baby face

and i have to wear like a god damn adult

wait.. i am an adult

Any way i just hate that

I am sleepy 

not sure what i am doing here though 

LOL

well gonna end here then

lets hope i do well tmr

good night

Just a dinner =)

Seems like updating my blog becoming
one of my habit, I like to post here more
than on my facebook actually
I just like I here, more comfortable somehow
I actually stop blogging a year ago
but then a girl came and read my old blog
then chat a little then say I should start blogging again
so I started it back
not sure if she will read my blog again though
but thanks.
my old blog still here though
I have think of shutting it down
but seems like I can't do it
I feel stupid when reading back my old blog
but, still, many memory it held
better not erase it with one click

Okay, enough cock talking
So here is something I want to share
yesterday I went to dinner with my friend and my lecturer
yes, you din't read it wrong, my lecturer
he is just 27, age not far from us, so we actually make a pretty good friend
I know you are bored reading so here some picture
and story continue afterwards

This picture is when we are still Sunway, a shop,i forget the name of that shop

nop, my lecturer still not here, he is trying out the shirt and then we taking picture while waiting him

and then we reach where we took dinner...

that's only the first round we took, I think we went for 4 or 5 round i forget

and this was the first time I ate so damn full, until I almost threw up 

cause we were so greedy, beside cannot waste food or we will be charged for more money xP

and this guy is my lecturer lol, i dont know why he is smiling so damn creepy

it is funny every time i saw this

and this guy totally looks like a monk, and his shirt is grey color so we all keep making fun of him

saying, monk cannot eat meat... 

you realize every picture have me? hahaha it is because I am the only one waving the camera around

seem like i am the one making them in these picture, without me, the picture wont be exist.

see i like to take photo, it just like a memory review, when are bored, take out our phone

and watch it, then smile, and then think nice memory I had. or who knows maybe one day

i might get amnesia... so I can view back these ...

so thats it, next time.

Exercise Please

oh yeah, i should have post this yesterday
but i was just too lazy even moving my finger
because i am so tired
okay
so last post(yesterday) i said i am too lazy to
exercise, just after posting it, then in the afternoon
i receive a call from my friend
asking me if i wan to go Taman Botani
For bicycle ride, i was like...
is that coincidence? lol
and of course i went there
and took some picture
i was going to put those picture on
facebook though, but after i see those picture
i am so ugly in those pfft so forget it
i ill show you guys picture later
just some of it, mostly without my ugly face
after i finish the story

That place, taman botani, actually did not
fulfils my expectation, its so small actually
1 hour actually can finish cycle the whole place,
i still prefer where last place i went to ride
near shah alam, taman pertanian
there is a lot bigger, it took us 5 hours to finish the place
okay back to tmn botani
the only good thing about there is
not dangerous as tmn pertanian
and one more, that is they actually got the bicycle that can
ride by 2 people,
but i think it is only good for couple,
we 5 guys doesnt seem like it ~_~
and of course
we tried it, and it is so freaking hard to control
really so damn damn damn hard.
so just after 5 minute we testing,
we change it back to one seat bicycle

those bicycle are basically shit,
almost everything is not intact, i dont need it to be perfect
but at least usable
especially the break, the one i ride almost kill me in many situation
and the goddamn seat
it is hard as rock, and sit until my balls hurt
actually not my balls, the place between my balls and anus
i think its getting blue black, it hurts until now -.-
make me cant sit well too. pfft
and the handler, without the rubber my hand are full of those rust
-.-...

and here some picture

and this is the 2 persons ride bicycle

like girls huh? take picture in toilet -.-

They all like decide not to bring phone so end up I can only self shot the take all of us in picture

and this is the reason why a lot of picture, i am so ugly lol ~_~ i know actually this one too

yes, that is me... red shirt pfft... not really comfortable lying at there, make my skin itchy 

mat rempit

Dead.... phone?

The wind blew, and blew

screaming while squeezing through

the little gap of the window

Its cold, freezing

the wind feels like cutting through skin

pierce through my bone

No no no that's not what happening right now

i am just nothing to do lol

wake up so early today...

i should have go for exercise instead sitting here

but i am just way to lazy

so forget about that 

and btw i am hungry

i dont know why,

actually i dont know what to type too

i just keep typing something and the backspace it back

keep changing the title.

oh yeah, tell you guys

my phone is dead...

not that my phone is broke or what

but it never ring.

since half year ago

well except for those text message that service provider sent me

my phone is, technically dead

there will be some time like this

even my friend say the same

and of course, its big different 

with and without girlfriend (forever alone)

and if you have, and your phone dont ring by your girl

you should probably worry

and last time my friend was so proud saying,

look at me man, i am so busy

3 girl sms with my at same time...

i was like"okay good for you"

then now in the end

he got none of those girl and his phone is "dead" too

so is your phone dead?

aha...

i think probably should get something to eat

"Ja na"(goodbye in Japanese “ 

Haaa Choo

Wow ... now actually start raining
the cold wind blow through the opened window
chilling.
my favourite weather =D

actually not much want to say
just update a little
I dont want the gap between new post are large
I was actually sit here for like an hour
to think want the hell actually i should write
but seems like my brain malfunction today


Basically I am in holiday now,
i have only 1 class next week,
then the following week is study break
passed up the full documentation project
now left 2 more easy projects
pass it up and wait for the presentation
then just wait for the final
somehow this semester gave me feeling that
it end so meaningless
not that its sucks but
just don't know how to explain

and so called "end of the world"
is coming, i really curious to see what is really gonna happen
dont tell me you're not...
so now just wait and see
or probably you should pray too  xD

Yet

You looks so close
almost i could reach just by
extending my arm
Your voices too,
so close, so near
almost like whispering beside my ear
you were that close
Yet, unreachable



That string, that thread
is the link between you and him
looks so tiny
so thin
so fragile
almost it will shattered within a touch
Yet, unbreakable



The truth that had sunk
The lies from the victor
covered it up,
Loser been buried
but that truth,
that I am lost,
Yet
undeniable



Lives,
Looks strong
Looks tough
But it was just frail
When facing the touch of death
Looks lasting,
but just like woods and fire
all whats left, will be ashes
Looks sturdy
Looks robust
yet,
fragile

Blood, Blood everywhere

what do you think it is ?

yeah, it is what you think

Blood donation, everyone knows that 

why the hell I even ask

anyway

UMMC has organized a blood donation at my college

And NKF(national kidney foundation) is come together for the life body check

for student or everyone in the college

and its free, just either if you want to donate, and i did the body check

and my body is on perfectly good, blood pressure, sugar, cholestrol 

well that's make me happy

but just one thing, my height

it never grow already 

after the nurse measured my height and she say it out

and first thing come from my mouth is

Am i really that short?

and she help me measured again

she was like " see, its accurate "

almost like saying yeah you are short and now get lost

well... And i gained weight, for 1.5 kg lol

i should celebrate it, its hard for me to gain weight

i eat a lot, but i am still thin

and i have no idea why

by the way, thats my arm,

for who dunno xD

it is my second time i donate my blood

I am type A,

Some people think blood type tells about personality. Legend has it that Type A is calm and trustworthy; Type B is creative and excitable; Type AB is thoughtful and emotional; and Type O is a confident leader.

yeah i admit i copy that from internet
so what type are you ?

when i starting donating blood the nurse told me that my vein is so small
well, of course it is , my arm is small, of cz it is small
if the vein is that big, it will be fucking weird...
actually it kinda scary watching my blood flow out into a bag
what if it never stop flowing haha
my head always have this kind of weird thoughts
and last thing
please
go and donate your blood if you can
it helps people in need
any type of blood you have,
but please dont if you have any disease 
=)

Not bad huh

Well lately I having bad insomnia 

Every hate it I suppose?

Of course so do I

but it just happen so what the hell i can do about it?

See, shit just happen man

Every time, without warning

Just like your stomach, when the crap wanna come out

they won't send you a text message like

"yo dawg, i going come out at 9 oclock in the morning yo,

you better sit at the toilet and wait for me, if not 

i will beat the shit out of your anus"

no, they wont

they will just beat the shit out of they way

sometimes we just need to "enjoy" that bad things happen to us

but I am not telling to enjoy that stomachache... 

but some other things

just like me

i have a real bad insomnia yesterday night

i was lying on my bed until 2 god damn am

then i was like" fuck this man, i going to get up and get some food and 

do my stuff"

So i get up,

open my laptop and watch a movie eating some chips

but then i decide to take some walk

out of the dark, and of course it have street light

by the way i really like cold night,

dark sky

and it was beautiful, and i never thought of that

but now think of, its lucky i din't get rob xD

I actually enjoying that

even i am tired

but my retarded brain just refused to sleep

i think it was like " well why want to sleep now boy

you have plenty of time sleeping when you are dead"

See sometimes things aren't so bad

just the point of view

like you spilled your milk while you drinking it half

you will feel like god why this happen, that is another half i can drink

but why dont you give yourself a better view

just like " so now i can have another can of milk, FULL"

Okay, enough of my point of fking views

it getting annoying isn't it ? 

oh well here 

just something i want to share

wednesday, mean yesterday 

me and my friends suddenly decide to swim

yes, suddenly... we always decide thing at "suddenly

and we swim

at sungai gabai

it is a waterfall

this is the second time i went there

and i forgot which friend of mine having those picture

for my 1st time been there

oh well forget that

and here is some pictures

The water is cold, of course it is a waterfall

and i look so fucking ugly in this picture

Busy Week

These day are busy,

Its the assignment pass up week

and of course i am not doing it last minute

just need to last checking for documentation 

and the annoying program

we are doing clinic management system

well actually everything turn out quite good

the program is function nicely

but just need a few tweak to be better

even busy still need to rest ourselves

and i did, and here... a photo of me planking 

during lunch break at my college's computer lab

my friend's face was priceless

was like" wtf he is doing man"

and err, this message is for someone

if you are still reading my blog

mind to give me a reason u suddenly dont reply my msg anymore?

well if you feel disturbed you can just say it and i will never

find you anymore

i just hate being abandon like that...

泣

独自被遗留在荒野
正害怕被孤独吞噬
凝视着那无助的双手
双膝正跪着冰冷的地
他...在惊泣


突然告知失去亲人
泪水还不及反应
赶回到他那熟悉的家
看见他人在哭泣
那迟钝的泪水也被悲伤带出
他...在悲泣


得知了那不想被认同的事实
被那事实吹残
想要抹脱，却已烙在心里
想要解决，却找不到方法
想要离开，却依依不舍
独自一人哭得乞凌
她...在痛泣


无理由的走在街里
看着那人来人往
遇到太多挫折
却没人分担
她忍受得太久
眼眶满泪
突然蹲下
大哭
她...在豪泣


爱莫能助
想伸出双手帮她抹掉眼泪
却遥远不及
想要安慰，但口只来了词穷
他没掉泪 ，
他的心却... 在静泣


向着那还有五百米的家迅速奔跑
双手按着那疼痛的肚子
竖紧那屁股的肌肉
心里一直祈祷 要比它出来前到家
但却在途中被打败
他跪着 头往上看
大喝  天啊... 我的新裤
双眼也流出泪水
他...在.... errr? errmmm ..? huh ?

We are always crazy

Yesterday 3 am in the morning

with my crazy friends 

suddenly thinking want to go Port Dickson

and watches the sun rise

then we are just like"owh okay why not"

so we set off to port dickson

took us like 1nhalf hours to reach there from kl

so 5 am in the morning, and no shop is open for us

we all were so hungry but couldn't do nth 

so we decided just go to the beach instead

dark sky, and the water just seem so deep

and can see lighting from afar 

nice view

but then sudden some one decide to throw sand at me

then the sand war is started

some of the sand got into my nose and my mouth

and inside my shirt, scratching my skin

but still, good memory

then the sky start brighten up

too bad the beach is facing to the west

dint have the chance to see sun rises from the sea

what do you see? thats my name =D

You don't need to ask, i wasn't in this picture

because I am the forever alone photographer lol

( there are still another 3 more friends with us)

Then after 2 hours wondering there

we finally decide to leave

but... we make a wrong turn few times

we are almost go to melaka instead of backing to KL

and we are all hungry as hell, and when we finally found 

one restaurant I was like FINALLY

I thought I am going to starve to death

took us 3 hours to go back and reach our home

then everyone just sleep like a pig

but i just slp like 4 hours... and woke up

until now typing this ...

and just now went to dinner with family

just a normal dinner

but i just decided to take some photos using my brother's phone

cz mine doesn't have front camera

thats my 3rd elder brother

and add another, my second eldest brother

and then another more, my lovely mum...

ignore my stupid face... i was tired

What would you do?

These days the sky never stop pouring

down his tear,

its already been a week, or maybe more

raining few times a day

but rainy day always been my favourite weather

darken sky, cold temperature, and quiet street

maybe you will say, why the hell your world is so grey 

come on, I like sunshine too... I am just more prefer rainy day

but rainy day made me sick

heavy flu, and keep sneezing non-stop

when start sneezing I thought someone is missing me

then I realize I am actually, no one will miss me until I sneeze non-stop

luckily it recover from a deep sleep

and that is something I want to mention

few days ago while I am in the sub way waiting for my train

I saw an ad poster about Jackie Chan new movie called cz12

i'm not trying to promote this movie or what 

but I am just found it funny because of the date it release 

its release on 20 December 2012...

you get me now?

years ago people was so freak out about 21th of December 2012

will be the end of the day

but now it's just one and half month away from now

and nobody give a crap...

Jackie Chan is almost like challenging the world will not end

Of course I don't believe the world will end either

even it does... that is another 7 billion people in the world to die with me

and then in the hell or heaven will be a big family reunion

so I worry nothing

If it doesn't end, live on

and continue your miserable life

simple that's it

I bet many people will like"I don't want to die yet, that is a lot things i haven't do"

bitch... that is another 7 billion people like you

beside what hell we can do if my planet just going to explode...come on

And tell me... what will gonna do a day before if the world really going to end

too bad for me I don't have a girlfriend if I do, i will bring her sit on the high ground and watch the world burn then die

so i guess that day i probably just sitting in front of  my  computer and whisper to it

"Goodbye darling... Thanks for so many years of accompany"

And feel free leave a comment tell me what you going to do

any bad or romantic things

Slips

Happiness of mine
just like the water
that ladle with my hand
it slips away,
between the gap of my fingers
a drop by a drop
a little by little
and when I started to realize
it is slipping away
then I look off
but my hand is already long dry
before I can take a sip
before I can taste the happiness

Things happen... just too sudden

Its 12 am in the morning,
I am already tired,
but I am just refuse to sleep
1/11/11 this date was my father's death date
so make its exactly 1 year and 2 days after
he passed away
Just one year, I am starting to afraid
my memories of him is starting to fade away
its blur..
and I don't want to, I never want to

I still remember few days after he passed away
me and my family was check his leftover things
and I found out that,
I don't even took picture with him personally
now I have nothing left to look at and yearn
Just having that whole family picture when my eldest brother marry
the biggest regret in my life,
but what can I do now

And now think of, my country national day
August 31th, its just national day for others
but for my family
it's my father birthday, and my parent anniversary
I was never have a chance to pay him a nice dinner
I was still young, even I wanted to
he will just say "better keep it to yourself
beside, its my money"
but I just remember I bought him a shirt once
my own money from work
and I can see the way he cherish it,
just a normal shirt, but he will wear it only when going out dinner with us

damn myself...

The night before he went to sky kingdom
I was back late, but he was still awake
the we sit and talk for awhile
we were still talking
still laughing
just next day I was in college then receive call from my brother
and told me to calm down then tell what happen
I really really really hope he was joking
but who will make this kind of joke
who will...
and I never got the chance to say goodbye
it was so sudden
I know, my sadness can't compare to my third elder brother
he working with him that day,
and watch him die...

just after he done his job
he suddenly feel unwell
then he sat,
he struggle awhile... then he is gone
how fragile...
but still, I was relieve, because he never suffer much before he move to somewhere better
I cried like I never had before on his funeral
and cry, and cry and again
that month
every time... every time I saw something remind me of him
I feel like crying, one time I was just almost burst out while I am on a train
I'm being seldom go out with friends after that happen
even friend ask me, its just not like you man
but what could I tell em?
they will never understand
I am afraid, I am scared, that will happen again

And I never said I love him
I should have...

无谓

无人的沼泽

有着漆白的沼水

但，

却虚无得可怕

我

轻慢走到沼水旁

蹲下

竖起手指尖

轻轻沾碰

那白色的沼水

只因好奇

毫无他意

但那被碰过漆白的水

我却让它染得墨黑

突然，

天空也落下

被孤弃的雨水

仿佛在叹气

我把那沼水染墨

睹此情景

那不纵容的大脑

却要发掘起

那已被拉后

被舍弃的记忆

鼻子一酸

眼泪

已在眼眶里

晃

一眨眼间

从眼中掉下

那灰色的泪水

而我

在这滴灰色的泪水

看到的自己

但

却拾到了无谓
无谓




田

Err? What?

Time passing so fast, now I am sitting, typing this
And I am already 19 ！*boy that escalated quickly*
pfft

time passing really fast, really.
and we just doesn't realize that
Its already one year after my dad passed away
he is a good dad, so good but just I never realize
before he was gone forever, well
he don't know how to praise people and deal with relative,
so every time i took my result with high CGPA
and let him check, he will just say"really? you got cheat or not" and give the result
back to me with a great smile
And after he is gone, my bro told me that, he don't know how to praise us,
But he is proud for us.
I am just a brick head I never see through that
So much regret, but what can I do now ?


And it is already half year after so called bestfriend got her
such tragic
never been better in this one damn year.
I was stupid enough to over trusting someone
I lost a friend, a traitor, but he lost a best friend that would fight for him


Awh well,
Stop that already right?
Now talk about what happen recently
My best buddy 19 th birthday
I know him for 15 years
So in this year, I decide to make him a cake
i know that cake doesn't look good but at least it is tasty
and here is some picture of I making it

 Because of some 

"Accident" happen so i force to make it square instead of round

and then add a very thick moist chocolate outside

actually i did cut it half and add the chocolate in the middle too i just forget to take 

picture when i cut it

 And this fellow, is my best kiddo
but i made him this cake, but he gave me that face *sigh